Episode 2.32 Speaking Up for Yourself

In season 2 episode 32 of Skate Date Podcast, we talk about what it means to stand up for yourself and situations we have been put into where we need to do just that. We discuss all aspects of roller skate accessories and our controversial opinions on them, and we have a Dear Shovel moment where we go into how to start loving your body. 

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Transcript

Rebel: 0:08

What's up Welcome to skate date

Shove: 0:11

back looking like crap.

Rebel: 0:12

It is another day and I really thought today was Tuesday. But really, it's not Tuesday, but I guess it's Monday. And isn't that the most Monday thing you've ever heard?

Shove: 0:25

I wish it was Tuesday because then I'd be way closer to this week being over.

Rebel: 0:29

I wish that it was Friday because we're going to Disneyland on Friday.

Shove: 0:36

No, me and my two dirty wife's are going to Disneyland on Friday.

Rebel: 0:40

I am also going to Disney that on Friday.

Shove: 0:43

They lost your ticket. No, they

Rebel: 0:44

didn't.

Shove: 0:45

They sold it. No, they didn't know girlfriends allowed only wives.

Rebel: 0:49

No. So we're going to Jason and

Shove: 0:53

if you don't know what a derby wife is, and you're really curious, you can write in and maybe we'll answer that question for you.

Rebel: 0:58

Yeah, I don't have one because I'm not a hoe.

Shove: 1:01

No one wants. Only me.

Rebel: 1:06

Yeah, that's fine. Anyway, so welcome to skate date skate date is a podcast made by to roller skaters who fell in love and started roller skating on skate dates and wanted to share those skate dates with the world. So

Shove: 1:22

here we are. Well, we just got his foot stuck in his water bowl.

Rebel: 1:26

Is that what that sound was?

Shove: 1:30

And I was like what and his back foot was like slipping in it so you can it Oh, he looks

Rebel: 1:36

Oh, poor little guy.

Shove: 1:39

Yeah, two girls one. Okay, so

Rebel: 1:43

I'm Rebel.

Shove: 1:45

Oh, we just stopped doing that. We already dressed like a lot the time anyways. Yeah, go ahead.

Rebel: 1:52

Wait, so I'm Rebel. I'm Shove And together we're shovel.

Shove: 1:56

Can you dig it?

Rebel: 1:58

I can. Always I can always dig it. Did you know that we're even dressed like right now? Like we're literally both wearing like a shirt with a little bit of white writing in the corner. Mm hmm. Yeah, it's cute. So today we're going to talk about sticking up for yourself. And we're also going to talk about skate accessories.

Shove: 2:29

I will talk about how I feel about that leader.

Rebel: 2:33

Yeah, she has lots of opinions. I'm gonna offend

Shove: 2:37

a lot of my listeners right now so my favorite favorite listeners some people I might even call friends will be highly offended about my opinions of skin accessories

Rebel: 2:47

you know what if we all share the same opinion then life would be boring so

Shove: 2:52

you

Rebel: 2:53

Yeah, so this last week man Shove went on a date and it was so

Shove: 3:00

cute. That was that

Rebel: 3:03

was literally like a few days ago. Mm hmm. like three days ago yeah, what did we do um, I

Shove: 3:12

bought you flowers Yes, she bought me flowers to a burlesque show which Rebel forgot to get that VIP tickets to so we saw a half the show

Rebel: 3:24

but I didn't remember because it's been two years that that I didn't remember that I had to get VIP instead of general admission anyways whatever so I surprised her are much wiser still had so much fun with a burlesque show Little Miss nasty look it up so good. If you're in like the kind of stuff that we're into he'll like it

Shove: 3:47

was really good show. It was awesome. first week of Derby been back completed and that means a list of your practices for me and one practice for rebel. And I am zonked. zonked, yes, I'm bringing it back.

Rebel: 4:04

I love that. I am not zonked. But I hope to be zonked in the future. Also, we took an entire weekend off we did jack squat this weekend.

Shove: 4:20

It was amazing squid, great Lola squid the game. Watch it now.

Rebel: 4:25

Oh my gosh, but only if you are mentally stable because I am not mentally stable. And when I watched squid games, I had a mental breakdown at the end. So yeah,

Shove: 4:37

it's also very chromakey. And like she actually was very disturbed afterwards. She cannot do horror well. And a thriller It was a rebel was very uneasy last night, and that was really fun to have to take care of till two in the morning.

Rebel: 4:52

Well, I told you, let's never watch horror scary movies because I have bad reactions to them. And you said

Shove: 4:59

yeah She should we need to watch this?

Rebel: 5:04

I wasn't gonna watch it. You weren't gonna watch it. Yeah, I

Shove: 5:07

skipped over it. I told you I thought it was a kids thing.

Rebel: 5:10

Oh yeah, I just saw it as a trailer. And I was like, this looks interesting. So I brought it up to my students today in class, and half of my students were like, Oh my God. He's so good. I was like, Yeah, I mean, it's really good. But also like, I literally could not handle it afterwards. And then they were like, Miss Mang. Do you think you would have made it through the first game and I was like, through the first game, if I had made it through the first round of the first game, then I think I would have made it through the first game, but if I did not make it through the first round, I obviously would not have made it through the first game. What? Well, it's hard to say without spoiling it

Shove: 5:49

anyway. We're gonna say is watch Squidward is

Rebel: 5:53

gonna say watch it. But also if you're don't do gore or horror thrillers, don't do it.

Shove: 5:58

I hope that there's a season two. Yes.

Rebel: 6:01

Anyways, so should we jump into our daddy Dad? Our dad? Dad, Dad,

Shove: 6:09

I would like to go home.

Rebel: 6:10

You are home. at his home. Okay. Okay, so let's do an ad then. So baby, guess what came in the mail?

Shove: 6:19

Oh, no. What did you order now?

Rebel: 6:21

Well, I heard this ad on skate day, the other week for a custom roller skate stocking. And it arrived.

Shove: 6:28

Oh my god, I didn't know you ordered one. Where is it?

Rebel: 6:31

It's right here. But before I show you, you have to guess the color.

Shove: 6:35

Okay, um,

Rebel: 6:37

no,

Shove: 6:39

look amazing.

Rebel: 6:42

It's teal and yellow

Shove: 6:45

up up and crochet shop does it again.

Rebel: 6:49

Yes, up up in crochet is not your average crochet shop. They have all sorts of cool stuff

Shove: 6:55

like a roller derby beanies, and those super dope stockings.

Rebel: 7:01

Order yours today, custom colors for early bird pricing and early delivery and October 1.

Shove: 7:08

And it's only $40. And

Rebel: 7:11

look how big it is. It's so big. It's way bigger than I thought it was going to be when I ordered it. So I'm excited. dope. Look at all of the room for chef to get me present.

Shove: 7:19

I like the wheels. Yeah,

Rebel: 7:22

I like the whole thing. Okay, so should we go to the real world?

Shove: 7:30

You're acting weird, but it's because, well, y'all, I am trying to be like rebel, and I'm trying to vlog. But I have challenged myself to vlog every day for a week. And it started today. And I already feel like I'm in for a doozy. And I'm like, trying to be like, I'm just normal person, but my life, I'm realizing is not that normal. But um, hopefully we'll see what happens. And you'll get to see this video one day and be like, wow, no wonder why shows always cranky and tired.

Rebel: 8:00

I love it. It's so fun.

Shove: 8:02

Let's jump in. Okay.

Rebel: 8:17

It's the real world.

Shove: 8:19

Where, what do we do? What do we do in the real world?

Rebel: 8:24

Well, we talk about real issues and things that happen outside of roller skating, or sometimes semi roller skating related, but really just any topic that we could potentially want to talk about. We talk about in the real world. That's it's the meat and potatoes of our podcast, meat and potatoes. Yeah, it's a heavy carbs and protein. Anyways, so today, we're going to talk about speaking up for yourself. Have you ever spoken up for yourself?

Shove: 8:54

Rarely, I'm always better at speaking up for others.

Rebel: 8:57

Okay, so let's just premise this by saying that speaking up for yourself is really really, really hard. I think that both me and Shove have a hard time speaking up for ourselves.

Shove: 9:13

I think you're better at it.

Rebel: 9:14

I'm definitely better at it. But we both have a hard time doing it.

Shove: 9:19

Yeah, speak. It's just so hard, especially like, so many things go into like the way you're raised and your confidence level and like thinking you just deserve the way you're treated. So you just accept it instead of like really taking a stand.

Rebel: 9:36

Yeah, and I also think like, it's contextual as well, you know, like, if I am in a certain situation, I'm more likely to stand up for myself than I might be in another situation. Like whether it is people that I'm around or like a new workplace or something that involves something that I feel like is volatile. So I think it just honestly depends on the situation for me.

Shove: 10:03

I'm like a boiling pot of water basically, it's just there and I take it and I take and that sort of simile and insert some rain and it starts bubbling before you know it is just, Bernini. Oh,

Rebel: 10:16

that is so true. Like, I speak up for myself way more often than Shove does and I also speak up for everyone around me particularly Shove even when she doesn't want me to all the time, because I just I don't even know that hey, yeah, just

Shove: 10:35

because I also like choose my hills to die on. So like, for me, a lot of things aren't don't matter. But I was like, I will go to war flakiness. I will fight for your honor. And I'm like, literally, they just didn't bring me what I ordered. It's fine. She's like, no,

Rebel: 10:52

no. Okay, what you're referring to is we went to a restaurant. And we were with a big group of people. We all ordered at the same time. And me and Shove were on the same check and ordered at the same time. And they brought out everyone's food, including mine. 15 minutes later, Chef still did not have her food. People were finishing eating and Shove had not received her food yet. So yeah, I'm gonna write it. And then she was like, it's fine. We'll just pay for it. And I was like, I'm fine. No,

Shove: 11:26

I didn't want to pay for it, babe.

Rebel: 11:29

But I The reason why I was writing was because they were trying to charge us

Shove: 11:34

for it. No, it was like, you kind of went off on the person that was like serving it. And then they were like, like that, that then sentence was like, okay, like, I get it. And then it was just like, I think it was the way you went. Like you went full Karen,

Rebel: 11:50

I was pissed, you went full carry, because here's the thing, I worked in a restaurant for seven plus years, like, I know that the only way to get to a certain person is to raise hell with certain other people, anyways, whatever. So anyway, so I stand up for Shove a lot, even when she doesn't want me to. And I also get pissed when chef doesn't stand up for herself. But then sometimes I'm a hypocrite, and I don't stand up for myself. You're a hypocrite. But I also think that like, for me, it's harder for me to stand up for myself in situations in which I'm trying to like negotiate pay, because I'm worried that the other person is just going to like, back out. Whereas I feel like when I've been wronged it's so easy for me to stand up for myself, because I'm like, I have been wronged. I must correct. I must have been, I must defend my honor. I don't know.

Shove: 12:50

Um, I just feel like there's certain people like from you standing up, for the hardest thing to stand up for, I think versus a person would be like my dad, because like, I felt like there was so much like pain and misunderstanding. And were things there that I think it literally took me to like a year ago or two years ago to Leo to stand up and be like, no, because I felt like he was always like, the trigger for me for a lot of things. And like I would cave and given to his little mind games and like weird emotional stuff. Or like him needing favors like and getting attitude if I didn't drop everything to do it right then. And like be like, No, I can't because of this or like, I don't want to or like you need to tell me ahead of times. And before I would just literally feel like I have to do this or I'll be in trouble. Or, like I finally learned how to like stand up to him. And I was just like, wow, I took that power away from him. So it was really important to stand up to yourself for anyone that like, you know, like, even if they're not a bad person anymore, but can be a trigger because they were a bad person and like you need to set those boundaries and stand up for yourself.

Rebel: 14:01

Yeah, definitely. I think that. For me, it's more like, I spent so much time people pleasing in my life. Like that's just like a very strong background of people pleasing. So for me, it's hard to stand up, speak up for myself and say no, when people ask me to do things, instead of just saying yes to everything. And I also feel like I struggle with like, just like enforcing boundaries at times with people. And I feel like sometimes, like I think I should be better. And so that's why I don't speak up for myself, like I Oh, you should have, you know, done X, Y and Z and so because of that like you shouldn't stand up for yourself. Like you shouldn't say anything like you deserve whatever it is that happened.

Shove: 15:04

Yeah, I get that. I'll feel like well, first I'll be like it stand up for yourself because this is wrong. And then I'll start like, contemplating situation. I'm like, Oh wait, no, it's my fault because I did this like or because I didn't say anything at that time. So now it's my fault. So like, maybe I shouldn't stand up or like, there have been times where I started to stand up. And then I like take it back. I'm like, but you know, I don't think it's fully yourself your fault. Like, it's me, too, like, and it's like, oh, no, now you're spiraling and like, you got to stand your ground?

Rebel: 15:37

Yeah, definitely. I mean, do you have a specific instance of when you've had to speak up for yourself,

Shove: 15:43

when I worked at coffee bean, I had to put myself on the spot and other people in the slot and really stand my ground and stand up for myself and everyone at my coffee shop. Because the pandemic hit, and we saw that was getting serious. And so I started emailing my manager, my district manager and being like, hey, like what's going on? Like, it turns out this virus is like a really big deal and it's like highly contagious, like, what are we doing? Like we have had full lobbies, like full of people like and no one really cares like, what what are their plans and then like radio silence and then I saw that Starbucks was pulling all their furniture in so that it could only be to go so I was like, hey, like, I think we should do this and then one person like I call another store and they're like, yeah, like I feel like we should do that too. Like it seems kind of weird cuz people just keep coming in and it's like so many people in here like that can't be safe. So I took the executive decision as the store manager and I pulled all the furniture and push the chairs against the push the tables against the wall and I put all the chairs in the back of the house office and was just like it's this is fine. And my manager called me and I was like, You guys want us you know, like I bought all the furniture because I don't think customers should be in here like Starbucks is doing it for their employees and I got to protect myself and my employees and they were like, Well I don't know if you should do that and I said, Well if you're gonna make me put it back you're gonna have to close the store because I'm not gonna stay here and they were just like, okay, okay well that's fine for now just leave the furniture like that like totally panicked. And I was just like I'm I'm not fucking around like y'all are gonna act like I'm gonna die for this place and I was like, This is not cool. And then like no one was communicating with everyone I had a sense so many messages and then like, I was telling people like I am straight up like high risk like this is not cool like can we wear masks? And they're like, No, you can't wear masks

Rebel: 17:53

I can't believe that still blows my mind remember and we can even narrow

Shove: 17:57

like well we don't know if it will do better like so. A lot of people are iffy but we wanted to wear them and they were just like no no like it's a bad look and all of a sudden it was just weird there was no social distancing yet like of course once like there were like the state made it like you had to they enforce it. But I don't know like the way they handled it was not good there was no information everyone was acting sketch. And as stressful as hell for you. It's so stressful like we were at work like washing our hands between every single transaction to a point where everyone's hands were like getting little bumps and read and life is so dry that we're cracking and like one person was having like little mini panic attacks and then it was just like too much to happen. And like, when everyone got furloughed, it was like, Okay, well, we're still making money and we're not working. So let's write this out. And then they wanted to bring us back, but it just felt like I was over it because I was like, that made me realize like, how replaceable I am and how, like no one really cared about any of us. All they cared about was making money so as soon as I realized like, okay, like I can hustle and do other things like I stood up by just quitting and just saying like, I don't want to come back when the first day they had us back to open the store. I helped him with what I couldn't I said I'm not coming back and I did it.

Rebel: 19:21

I was so proud of you for that like that was so hard and intense. And you did it.

Shove: 19:27

I did it. It's awesome. I missed the free coffee and I missed the money but I missed

Rebel: 19:31

a great coffee as well. I definitely missed like just like loitering in your coffee beans.

Shove: 19:39

I miss loitering in any coffee shop.

Rebel: 19:42

Yeah, for sure. I feel like for me, I my big opportunity is I think it roots from you know how you were saying earlier like it comes from how you're raised and like what happens and I think that growing up poor. I think that the way I was taught to like deal with money or the potential for money or the interaction with money is very like you take what is offered to you. And so for me, I struggle really hard with putting myself on the line to try and negotiate a pay that I think is fair for myself or to even stand up and be like, Hey, I think I deserve a raise I you know, got this new degree or I was promised X, Y and Z. I have a really hard time with that because in the back of my head is like training from when I grew up that was like, that's like it would be it's better to have some money then, you know, risk and not have a fear factor. Yeah, no, for sure. That's what I'm saying. Like it's it's a instilled like fear within me that is like, it's a poverty complex. I mean, go back and watch that episode, for sure. But for the most part, I have no heart, no problem at all standing up for myself, especially when someone tells me I'm wrong about something. I'm like, nope. Because most of the time I'm right. I mean, like, unless I'm wrong, which is sometimes sometimes, yeah. Just sometimes just sometimes. Okay, a lot of times with Chef but with other people. I'm right, always. Just kidding.

Shove: 21:32

Right? Yeah. I don't think I've always stood up for myself, I always just be someone stand up for others. Um, I quickly went from being a bully as a kid because just you know, home issues, so most bullies do have like some F DEP stuff happening at home and I was one of those kids. And from being coming, not a bully anymore, but then like a defender. I took that violence that I needed to have out to like defend other people. Like if my kid was getting picked on or like someone, like came up to my friend or touched a friend to look even into my adult life, like a guy could like accidentally, like, touch me in the wrong way or be rude to me and I just like ignore it, or like, Tom eff off but like, many times, especially in my Barfly day is like if someone called one of my friends a bitch or touch their eyes, like it did in with me, like shoulder, checking them into a wall or like, just straight up, like hounding them. Like, whether it was just like making them feel really small by verbally abusing them, or if it was like you touch them. So now I will get physical with you. Like, I don't recommend that. But yes, I always would said, like, defend and stand up for someone else.

Rebel: 22:50

I mean, anytime you go out with me, I feel like I end up getting a fight with like, anytime we go to a bar or anywhere and someone says anything, or has the nerve or the gall to try anything, even if it's like, innocent, innocent, there's air quotes. about like, when, like, when that girl was like touching your butt and was like, this is fine. I'm straight. And I was like, no. Oh, and I had to get into a full argument with her and her fucking boyfriend. And then ended up like shouting in the bar. And like, yeah, anyways, whatever. Rebels crazy.

Shove: 23:34

I love with me. No, I'm

Rebel: 23:36

just crazy.

Shove: 23:38

Are your eyes got a little crazy when he said?

Rebel: 23:41

Yeah, I love you, too. But anyway, so yeah, so speaking up for yourself, you should do it. But also for others. Yeah, speak up for others. And I know this isn't like I know it's not always easy. Like speaking up for yourself is not always easy. But I think a big part of breaking especially like women and other oppressed genders or non genders. I feel like we're socialized into like, just shutting up and taking it, you know, and I think that it's an important part of breaking that for future generations for us to speak up, no matter you know, no matter what, no matter if we feel like we're wrong or not. Anytime someone's trying to take advantage of their like power over you or their aggression or their domineering ness. I think it's really important to have your own back. That being said, if you are not in a safe position, and you feel like this is going to harm you more than it would like help you. Then obviously use your own discretion in different situations, but just like Don't be scared and have each other's back.

Shove: 25:00

Yeah,

Rebel: 25:01

yeah, yeah. Do you got anything else to say about speaking up for yourself? Nope, nope. All right, let's move on over to the wheel world.

Shove: 25:24

Hello World, real world where we discuss roller skating stuff.

Rebel: 25:29

And anything that has anything to do with roller skating.

Shove: 25:35

All right, so,

Rebel: 25:36

so today's we'll world, we didn't really have any like events that happened over the last week. So we decided to answer a roller skate question. So the roller skate question that we were posed was, what's your technique to choosing skeet accessories slash setups for your skates? And we thought that was a fascinating question, because we have opinions about skate exists or he's gonna first didn't define like what a skate accessory might be.

Shove: 26:13

For me. I'll say mostly pre pandemic, I saw some of this pre pandemic, like a couple weeks or whatever, but we'll go back and do that. But when people said skate accessories, it literally just meant toecaps. And like, yeah, laces. Yeah,

Rebel: 26:34

it was like, that was all yeah, it was like, Are you talking about skate hardware? Are you talking about toe caps and laces

Shove: 26:42

so but that was like hardware where someone said, like, oh, accessorize your skates. They met. Oh, get a toe cap and change the laces to something colorful, that does not stop. And then like, maybe someone would put a patch on their skate.

Rebel: 26:57

And it was like, rare. Rare, like, very right?

Shove: 27:02

People wanted their skates to just like, be like, a tool a like, what do you call it? Like, in a sport? You have a bat? Like, what? What would you call that? Like, it's just like,

Rebel: 27:14

Oh yeah,

Shove: 27:14

this is what you need for the sport to do the thing. So like, the less things you had on it that could possibly break up and make you fall or like you want to like you're gonna fall naturally like so you don't want all these things getting in the way. So like, I never I don't think we'll ever thought about putting a bunch of stuff on.

Rebel: 27:32

I don't think it was a conscious decision. I think that before the pandemic, I think it was just kind of like nobody had really put that much thought and effort into like, decorating the skates beyond like what the skates looks like already.

Shove: 27:49

Yeah, I feel like I feel like now it's more like your skates are like a charm bracelet. And for me, I'm actually in awe of the creative lis creativity Yeah. The creativity that I've seen people like do like what they've come up with is like astonishing, like things I would have never thought of and I'm like y'all are wildly not like you know we're a fan of project pan up and let's just like she is probably the only person that's like made things that I've actively put on my skates but even then it's like one or one I'll put one at a time like like a little flair

Rebel: 28:35

yeah so I think that it's important to pause here and say that our opinions do not matter.

Shove: 28:44

Oh no Do you boo boo at all

Rebel: 28:46

even kind of do you boo boo I

Shove: 28:49

don't care if you want to have wings Tim charms some toecaps that glow in the dark light up a colorful shaped toe stop as well let's

Rebel: 29:02

let's talk about like what different accessories There are so right now Oh, where are we? Oh,

Shove: 29:09

so when we said in the beginning like what was just basic light up wills was a huge like

Rebel: 29:14

rails was a huge I mean that continues to be a huge Yeah, excess. Yeah, yeah, light of wheels was definitely big before I remember getting a pair of lightup wheels and they were like sold out at rollers. It was so hard to find. And I remember you being like, I'll just get them for you. And I was like, just get whatever colors available. Like wild. So now, their toe covers in by many different toecaps by like many different companies, whereas before it was like a couple maybe two, maybe three toecaps there's a bunch of different charms. You can put on your think of Yeah, literally anything you can think of can be escape charm. There's ankles gang klutz. So Caitlin's. That sounds better not. I wish they were called skin quiz. I love that. I think that's so cute. Oh my gosh, but I think they're called skates.

Shove: 30:22

When I was little I was a ski anklet.

Rebel: 30:28

They're skate lifts. And then there's like wings and there's fringe hatches what I

Shove: 30:39

call the applicators like the little their lace patches is that

Rebel: 30:44

oh, I guess lace patches. I had never seen that before the pandemic

Shove: 30:49

Yeah, and then like you couldn't lace like it'll be like well flowers like a daisy chain.

Rebel: 30:56

Or like an enjoyable squish patch that you can put Yeah,

Shove: 31:00

and then there's one thing you put later like lace covers, which is really cool, especially if you're in Derby because when you're in Derby, you're doing things like the tops and rock star rock star falls, where you're dragging your laces on the ground and they tend to like shred so

Rebel: 31:14

when I first started Derby, I went through like literally 30 pairs of laces. I don't even know what I was doing wrong, but I was doing many things wrong clearly but like it was struggle bus city for sure.

Shove: 31:28

Yeah, but see, like somebody thought for me. I think my my problem and why like people are like Shove like, why don't you love this cute stuff? Your extra is hell, you think your skates would be extra as hell? Well, I also like have a thing with like function like I want things to have a function not just like a look a certain way. So like for me, I view my skates as something also for me. It's like I would love that patch that like goes over the laces because I know it will protect the laces. So it's like stylish, but it has a reason to be on there. And then like with other things, I'm just like, Oh, it's just like too much stuff to worry about. For me. I think that's what it is like I just want to throw my skates on and go. I also like because you know I'm extra. This is so stupid, but I like to choose a theme outfit of the day. So if my skates scream, candy raver, but I choose the like 70s rock and roll that just doesn't match. And I know that makes no sense. But that makes a lot of sense. Actually. Y'all know I'm a stylish person and a shopaholic, which is why I have so many clothes that you see and why I have so many skates. So like a lot of thought goes into my look. So if I create a whole personality persona on that pair of skates, with all those accessories, I would have to change those each time to match my look. And that just sounds like too much work. And I know you all are probably like Shut up. But that's just how I feel.

Rebel: 32:54

No, it makes sense. I also feel like, whereas I love how they look on other people's skates. I am too. Without being an aggressive skater. I am too aggressive. I don't know how to describe that. Like I'm just an aggressive person and I like break shit all the time. And I love how charms look on other people's skates and I even will put fuses the charms like around the house. Yeah, I'll even put like I literally own a crap ton of charms and I love them. And I'll put them on my skates and just set them up sometimes. But as soon as I start skating in them, I have to take them off because I will break them and then they will trip me and then I will die. Don't ask how because many many people will skate all day long with these and not have a problem at all because they don't just break but like my dumb ass would like slam them against a wall and then break it somehow because that's who I am as a person.

Shove: 34:05

Did we mention wings?

Rebel: 34:07

I think we like kind of mentioned wings. Okay, cool.

Shove: 34:10

I just like wait, I think yeah, there's

Rebel: 34:11

also wings. Which funny story. I didn't know those existed because when I first started skating, my very first pair of skates which were ugly just no offense to mild skates but they were just ugly. And they wear like black skates and then I put like hot pink laces on them and then like neon green toe cap gold. And then someone gave me gold wings and I was like what are these and they were like their wings and I was like great so I just like put them on my skates.

Shove: 34:49

So in pom poms,

Rebel: 34:51

oh palm palm I like to you know what was around primarily though with pom poms is it was palm The bell in it. Yeah. And that always bothered me and I, I love when again, I love when other people have bells on their skates. I hate when I have bells on my skates because it like makes me think my toe stop is coming. Because I'm always listening to stop rattle.

Shove: 35:23

I had bells on my skates that she could say your toe stop

Rebel: 35:28

listening for it. And yeah, I had like a pompom with a bell and I ended up giving them away and everyone's always stoked, because I'll buy all this shit and then I'll just give it away. Because I keep thinking that I want it but then as soon as I start skating, I'm like, Oh no, I don't want it.

Shove: 35:45

Do you think? Um, like when it comes to certain skate accessories, like, would you recommend that for like someone that wants to park skate? No. How come?

Rebel: 35:56

Because when you're Park skating, you are way more aggressive on your skates and chances that things will break off. Like for example, if you are getting skate charms, do not Park skate with skate charms on just don't do it. Like maybe you'll be lucky and you won't die. But like probably not like probably you're gonna hit your skate on something or you're gonna slide out of stall or something's gonna happen it's gonna break off and then if you don't catch it, it's going to be a super hazard for someone else. Yeah, and so like you don't want to be a hazard like that. But for like street skating or rink skating, like whatever like do you like I love again? I love how it looks. I just have sensory issues with them on my skates I

Shove: 36:46

think I said some cool setups out there like even ones I'm like wow, they have everything on there but the colors just go so flawlessly that it's almost like a work of art. And I feel like it's a way for people to be like super original and make it like you see it and you know it's there's like when I look at Joanna from that Skate Club in Vegas, she I know she always has like wings on her skates with always like demon wings. And like her skates always have like a super like Harry Potter theme or like you know like it goes with her theme and it's very like her personality. So like I get it you know what I mean? And

Rebel: 37:26

I think that that's why neither of us can do that is because neither of us have one style or aesthetic. Like we both alter between so many and there's so different like you have like your 70s style you have your like punk style you have your super egirl you have your super just like girly girl like cottage core almost like you have all these that you can't I would say you constantly go between and then you have your like skater girl like Moxie aesthetic. And then like I have you know, I'm literally a butcher one day and then an egirl the next and then a professional the next day and then the following like I don't I literally never match up. So like if I was to make one of my skates one of those aesthetics then I would if I happen to be wearing the other one I would never be able to wear which is basically essentially what you said earlier, but just reinstating it because I think it's a very valid argument.

Shove: 38:32

But yeah, I don't know but when I saw what you did to my orange skates are made on might the ultimate alameen setup. I'm not gonna lie, I was like, I love how they look. And I will keep I think because of the holidays and I think okay, I am a sucker for skate decorations skate accessories for the holidays. Me too because then it's like you're gonna have your Halloween set up you're kind of have your Christmas set up, you're gonna have your Valentine's Day setup. I feel like that's when that's like when I had the bells that will tell you about that annoyed her it's because I was like, do you know?

Rebel: 39:11

Like, I love that idea. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. And I would even look at her and be like, that's so cute. And then we'd be skating and I'd be like I'm having an anxiety attack because I don't know if my toes tops are coming off or not.

Shove: 39:23

And then Valentine's Day I like to mismatch my strawberry with either my poppy redsky or with my taffy purple ski. Do you like pink laces and read wills and just like color coded for that so because then it's like no matter what I'm wearing, it's still like holiday spirit. So I totally am all about any kind of cheesy like gaudy like over the top accessory for that.

Rebel: 39:51

Oh my gosh, I literally I agree. I but I also like, again like I clearly made her skates. It's like she was like, just not home. And I was like, I'm just gonna make her skates into Halloween skates, like I do. I do love like just taking random skates and just turning them into some like a themed skates and then just putting them back up on the shelf. Because I think they're beautiful.

Shove: 40:16

Oh my gosh are so but

Rebel: 40:18

yeah, so I may or may not be getting some skate charms in my shop. And I picked out all my faves, all my favorite things that I could think of that I would want to put on my skates and that I will probably put on my skates and put on the shelf but probably won't skate and maybe, I don't know. But those are coming to my shop soon and even I just y'all will be the literal first people to find out but there is going to be a Christmas. I have a Christmas like accessory set that may or may not involve earrings and a matching skate charm.

Shove: 40:55

I don't even know about this because Rebel tells me nothing.

Rebel: 40:58

No, because I just found out about it today while you're at work. Oh, and I'm super excited. But I can't tell you anything else.

Shove: 41:05

I'm excited. I can already guess who's making it for you? Yeah, yeah. All right.

Rebel: 41:13

So

Shove: 41:17

don't come at us. We're not attacking you for your accessorized skates. Like we said, Everyone has their own sense of style. We're not judging you. If you have it. We're just talking about hey, these accessories out there, and this is why we don't accessorize our skates. And don't like be like, oh man, I'm taking these off because shovel doesn't wear them. I shouldn't wear them. No, you do you booboo. Stay true to who you are. And keep rockin those skates with pride no matter what you put on them and what you don't put on them.

Rebel: 41:53

Yeah, and I've also had people send me like skate accessories and stuff. And I'm still super grateful for them. And I still definitely put them on my skates. But I just you might not see me skating around in them. And that's because I will break it. Because that's who I am as a person. Rebel ruins everything. Well,

Shove: 42:13

I feel like we should have ended on me. Yeah. I'm not new. I think we should get out because revels, losing it. Okay, bye. Today be

Rebel: 42:39

a find your skate date.

Shove: 42:40

We currently have one. I think we must have threatened y'all enough, because we had a breakdown last week.

Rebel: 42:46

Thank you for sending it a find your skate date. So find your skate day is where we connect to you, the skater with other skaters in your area. And we do that by you breathing really about the end of the microphone. I'm hearing your nose like what's going on. So find your ski date. We connect you with other skaters and help you to find a person to be escape date, whether it's platonic, romantic, etc. And in order to have us gas you up, all you have to do is send us an email at dear escape date@gmail.com telling us who you are sending us a picture your bio and your pronouns and we will blast you out there on the podcast and on her Instagram.

Shove: 43:39

Yeah, what she said. Alright, let's jump on in.

Rebel: 43:42

So who's today's skate date?

Shove: 43:44

Hey, guys, it's me, Tiff. I am 35 I live in Kissimmee, Florida. I'm a proud member of the turtle skater society. I love doodle skating. I am on level one in my skate journey. So if you'd like to be my skate date, you either got to have a lot of patience, or be a fellow turtle to hashtag Turtle power here to love it. Skate culture is more poppin in Orlando, but as a human who lives an hour away and works a full time job Orlando isn't always a convenient option. AKA a pitch is old and tired y'all so I'm sure somebody exists in my neck of the woods right? Listen, can we figure out which one of us cries cuter like shovel shovel? It's definitely stuff me. Rub Icy Hot on each other's knees after skating for hours and work just some dojo cat. Sounds like a blast. motivate each other to keep going even when we feel like we suck or we'll never learn anything and cheer each other on. We finally unlock something new. I am down to make I'm down to make long lasting friendships while learning while really learning together who knows where this skateshop can take us on skill so in conclusion Let's be fun together make some memories and put these knees and ankles to us while we still can Grammy emoji feed my

Rebel: 45:25

oh my god that is so funny. So if you can't tell TIFF is hilarious amazing is a wonderful human being and is a very very fun to be around no she's very supportive and I love that for her and for you person futures gate date of TIFF that is somewhere near Kissimmee, Florida

Shove: 45:52

Kiss me, I just like looking at it.

Rebel: 45:55

Kiss Me Kate Barlow is that where she's from? Kate Barlow Kiss Me Kate Isn't that like an old Western legend? I don't know she Kiss Me Kate. Isn't it some girl who like rode around on horses and like kill people after she and then after she killed people she like kiss them with her like snake venom lipstick is not a real thing

Shove: 46:19

it could be maybe I miss my favorite murder.

Rebel: 46:24

I don't maybe I made that up.

Shove: 46:26

I don't know I thought one of your weird dreams

Rebel: 46:29

oh wait was that a story that was in holes

Shove: 46:38

I swear to god this woman will make random references to the movie holes like I know it's the only movie she's allowed to watch and she literally we'll call references to it and I have never seen it I just know that that one guy shy live Oh isn't it right? Yeah and I'm just like that's all I know. And she'll randomly like once every two months or so. That is not even I have heard you randomly. Yeah, like you the whole I don't know you're talking about

Rebel: 47:14

she is exactly.

Unknown: 47:17

And our relationship It is been it's probably like once a year that I randomly No No,

Rebel: 47:23

I have not brought it up for all of 2021

Shove: 47:27

I doubt it. Okay, but

Rebel: 47:30

that being in song It's like, Oh,

Shove: 47:36

please. never watched it. And we are still in the spotlight mattered. The spotlight is on tip of Kissimmee, Florida really

Rebel: 47:51

quick before we leave holes. That was where I learned that like if you hold your nose like if you can't smell and you bite into an onion, it can taste sweet I still don't believe it but like apparently

Shove: 48:08

Okay, so when you say learned he just heard about something that you have no no backing on her as I say you tried it. So you heard something in the movie? No, say read the book first. Okay,

Rebel: 48:24

so I read it.

Shove: 48:26

Fiction. fan fiction. She loved holes so much that just read the book y'all she also watched the movie. Now I get why she's like, how was your childhood? Besides the religious trauma? She's like holes, holes. That's why we call her soul shovel because

Rebel: 48:54

that is not true. Even kind of. Oh my gosh, anyways, so to give

Shove: 49:01

her Instagram on here. How do they find you?

Rebel: 49:06

I don't even know what her Instagram.

Shove: 49:09

She's all like. So find me Google tip. 35 Kissimmee, Florida. Oh,

Rebel: 49:15

I'm stupid. It's Hey, Nick. Hey, now once I get something to do with Nick. Hey, Nick. HEY, and I see. Okay, you want

Shove: 49:29

Oh, no. Rebel spinning now.

Rebel: 49:31

Okay. Anyway, so hey, Nick, hit her up, because she's rad. And you could be rad too, with Nick. And then when you meet her in real life, you could be like, hey, Nick.

Shove: 49:44

Oh my god. Alright, I think it's time for to shovel.

Rebel: 49:48

Okay. All right, this next part of our episode is called deer shovel. Deer shovel is the part of the podcast. Oh my gosh, I'm wiping away my tears because I was laughing so hard. Okay, deer shovel is the part of the podcast where you write in your questions and then we answer them. Why didn't you just drink out of my cup? vape instead of pouring it like it's a science experiment, making it sound like someone's paying.

Shove: 50:34

For my family,

Rebel: 50:35

okay, well, so in deer shovel, we answer your questions, and we give you good and bad advice. And you have to guess which advice is better? Actually, we'll just call it advice. You can just take whatever advice that we give you and you know, take it with a grain of salt, obviously, but um, yeah, so today's question. Oh, and if you want to send in a deer shovel question, you can send it to deer skate date@gmail.com. I know that's probably confusing, because it's your skate date@gmail.com. But you have to say do your shovel, but that's okay. You're smart. And I know you can figure it out. Alright, so today's your shovel is dear shovel. Do you have any advice about learning to love my body? No. Yes, obviously, we have advice about that. advice about that. advice? Okay. Yes. So here's my opinion about this. There are times in our lives where our bodies are hard to love. And we struggle with viewing ourselves in the way that other people who love us view us. And I think that there is no cure all for that, right. And I also think that it would be, I don't know, like, super shady of us to be like, just do this, and then everything will be better. Because that's really not the case. Like learning to love your body is a long process.

Shove: 52:09

Wait, first been ro s$500. And we will give you the secret to loving yourself.

Rebel: 52:16

Oh my god, stop.

Shove: 52:18

That's what society does. That's

Rebel: 52:20

literally what society does. societies like here, just book a session with me.

Shove: 52:25

I

Rebel: 52:27

buy this diet plan, buy this supplement, buy this, like face moisturizer, and you'll be stunning. And you look in the mirror and you'll be like, I'm amazing and beautiful. And I love my

Shove: 52:40

surgery. Now tuck stuff.

Rebel: 52:44

Yeah. And none of that stuff works. And it's terrible. And I really think that I think even sending us this question, I think is the first step. I think even asking the question like how do I start to love myself because I think it's so easy to just sit in that wallowing pit of like, looking in the mirror and then just being like, well, I fucking hate myself today, or just in general, and then like not being able to shake that. So I think that reaching out is the first step.

Shove: 53:18

Yeah, Rob one. I have horrible days all the time all the time. There's more good than bad, though. And it used to be just bad. And then it was like, bad. And maybe one day a month. I was like, Oh, I look. Okay. And now as soon as you're like I'm failing it or like not even it's not even like it's not even like we're getting up a human right? Oh, look at this bad bitch bah blah, yeah, throw some lids on. It's just that we don't care. It's like we wake up, we put on a cute outfit, put on any makeup, we do our hair. And then we like go about our lives and we just like are confident because of what's on the inside and how we're feeling like the amount of times that I even like look in the mirror. And like really look at my body or like really look at my face is really rare. Like that's the kind of behavior I did when I was dissecting every single dip, scar hair lump, like roll. Looking at every little black head pour anything on my face, like that's what went into that behavior because like if you're looking for something, you're gonna find it Oh, definitely. And so now it's more like oh, like how's my outfit is my like, make sure that dog isn't sticking out in the back and oh, I think this crop tops should be a little shorter. Let me fold it out. Let me roll the sleeves like I'm focusing on like, what I just want like aesthetically on the outside and like how I want that to look and that might get me more frustrated than like, oh my stomach's protruding more than usual today and things like that. When I do have a bad They're it's more of like, a like, I feel like just a blob like a shapeless blob. And like, definitely like, that's not how I would normally talk to myself, it's just like I'm having an off day, usually around the time my periods going. But it's just like I'm having an off day. And that's where I go back to, because that's the kind of stuff I would say when I was full of self hate. And so even though it's not really that I'm not like, I'm losing my self love and body positivity, it's just that I, it's easy to fall back on the ways to treat yourself when you're in a mood.

Rebel: 55:34

Yeah, and I definitely feel you on that whole, like not looking in the mirror thing. And I know that this feels kind of like, counter productive to like loving your body, not looking at it that much. But like, I think especially for people who have hated their bodies or have had body dysmorphia, like, that really is part of the habit is just like spending hours like staring and hating and like, you know, dissecting and all those things. And for me, like, I know that there are parts of my body that I struggle with, or that are areas that cause me more frustration than others. And so I literally just don't look at them. And I know that sounds like really bad. But like I literally just I know that when I don't see mirrors, and I put things on that make me feel good. And I like like what I'm putting on that can determine how I feel about myself way stronger than like me seeing myself in the mirror and being like you look good. But like it comes down to even when you're shopping like buying things that feel good when you put them on like that are comfortable. Like you don't have to squeeze yourself in to fit some number that's on some arbitrary like decided by some old rich white guy who's in charge of a company, you know, you mean like you should just buy things that make you feel good in your body and buy things that you're like, this is really cute, I bet you would look super cute on me. Like, that's how I get dressed. Like I'm like, Oh, I think that's really awesome. I think it's gonna be awesome when it's on me, and I'm going to be stoked to be wearing it. So

Shove: 57:20

yeah, that's the same like saying it out loud what you like about your body or seeing a picture of yourself. And really like appreciating how you look. You can a lot of people think it's cheesy, or is like, That's weird. But I've literally written love letters, like open letters, and even put them on Instagram to different parts of my body that I struggle with. And like I still haven't even finished already into every part of my body. And as you do so like you realize, like each part of your body brings so much strength or has a reasoning or somebody's love can lay across you and feel safe and comfortable because of the fat on your body. Or maybe it's the lack of fat and like anything about your body, like there's some positive to it, that you might not see. And you got to like almost detach that body from who you are on the inside from your soul. And just see it as like, that's that's your shell to protect you and like it does so much good from you. Whether it's like being grateful that you can get out of bed in the morning, or me knowing that you can hug someone like that. Instead of being like, I hate my arm so much. I hate them so much. It's like Think of all the things your arms do for you daily. And like really shifting that frame. And that's how you start seeing your body is more than just something that's supposed to be this mold of what her typical European beauty standards are. And you just need to like break that and like just know that you are valid.

Rebel: 58:53

Yeah, and I know he said it before, but honestly, for me, rollerskating really has helped me to love my body. And the reason why that is is because it's demonstrated what I'm capable of. And I never felt capable of things before. And being active and being on my skates and doing tricks or doing whatever it is that I'm successful at on my skates. Like it makes me feel like oh, my body is legit, like fuck yeah, like my body is awesome. And my body lets me do this thing. And so roller skating really, really has been, I think, monumental in my journey to self love 110% 150% I feel like that's what we got. Do you got anything else to add into that one?

Shove: 59:46

That's it. All right. Well,

Rebel: 59:49

thank you all so much for hanging out with us this week. If you would like to support this podcast, there are several ways that you can support it and any support that You give will be very, very appreciated. You can Venmo us at queer girl skates, and yes, it goes to both of us. Just write skate day in the notes. You can donate on PayPal, which is also a link in the bio. You can buy our skate date stickers or skate date patches. And those come from on escape date the Etsy shop. And if you want you can rate us on Apple podcasts and give us a little comment. That would make us really happy. Because right now nobody wants to read us and I think I just want to stop talking about at this point because I'm sad.

Shove: 1:00:45

It we just don't mention it. Yeah, until someone just random as it were like, Oh, we got a review. I'm just gonna

Rebel: 1:00:51

stop mentioning it. But I already did. So. If you want to follow us on Instagram, we're at skate date pod. And sometimes I post allies like yay, new episode coming out tomorrow, but today is Monday and tomorrow's Tuesday and that means that there's definitely not a new episode coming out tomorrow. So you can catch me in lying. If you follow us on skate day pod. Anything else? You want to tell the people I'm tired? All right, we love you so much. We'll see you next skate day.