Skate Date Podcast
Skate Date Podcast
Episode 2.29 Stalking and Gear Policing
In season 2 episode 29, we are excited to be back at full health and enthusiasm. In the Real World we talk about our experiences with being stalked *trigger warning to harassment, stalking, and light references to sexual assault and animal abuse*. In the Wheel World we dive into a discussion about gear policing. Should I wear my helmet? Does it make me a bad role model if I don't?
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We're back.
Rebel:Welcome to skate day.
Shove:We totally didn't just record for like 20 minutes of talking and then find out. Nothing was being recorded.
Rebel:We definitely just did that. But you know what? That's okay. It fits the tone of life right now. And that's fine.
Shove:Yes. This escape day. We are a podcast brought to you by two roller skaters in love that wanted to talk about more than just roller skating.
Rebel:And so we decided that we should have a baby and talk to it about roller skating. And then we're like, wait, no, that's not that easy. Instead, let's make a podcast.
Shove:Yes. So I am Shove and I am Rebel. And together we are shovel. Can you dig it?
Rebel:Can you dig? Lord? I can.
Shove:I can. I can dig it. Yeah, it's been a doozy. We've been on and off and I'm gonna be honest, not only what just happened for the last 15 2030 minutes was a doozy. But also we recorded this whole episode already. And no, we didn't just not hit record. I had an emergency at last Sunday, where my side was completely in pain, and it kept getting worse and worse and worse. To the point where I thought it was internal and rebel got scared and my best friend got scared and urged me to go to the emergency room at Kaiser. Yeah, cuz rebel was at disgraces for closing night. And yeah, so I took my butt to the hospital, even though I didn't want to go.
Rebel:And we're all very proud of you for that.
Shove:Yeah, it was scary. And I had to be by myself because it's COVID. And I was all alone. I was like, This freakin sucks for me pee in a cup. And then the pain just kept getting worse and worse. I was in there for hours and rebel cat says scary. scared. I was like, Don't worry, it's probably okay. And then they're like, well, it could be kidney stones. And I was like, No, I'm so scared. Like, that's gonna be so painful. Like I was terrified. All I could think about was like, This episode of Seinfeld or Kramer had to like pee one out and scream so loud that like, this gymnast fell off a tight rope or something. And I was like, it's gonna be the horse pain of my life. And so they're like, we're gonna have to CAT scan. And that freaked me out. Because I've never done a CAT scan before.
Rebel:She's not a cat person. Oh
Shove:my gosh, I had to like, literally Google it. Just like it'd be like prepared for what was going to happen. And it was just like, I got super scared because it was triggering because I was like, they're gonna find a tumor because like, all the women in my family get cancer. And I was like, this is it this I find out they're gonna be like, surprise. It's a tumor. And yeah, no, no. So I start every now and then they make me wait some more.
Rebel:A lot of waiting. Yeah, like hours avoiding
Shove:they call me and the guys like if the pain in the front or just the side and I'm like, just decided he's like, well, the kidneys in the back. So he touches the side. And I literally like screaming, man, it's hurting so bad. Like, my whole freakin right side is like, in pain. And then he's like, you have a muscle. And I was like, That's embarrassing, because I thought like, Oh, it's a cramp like, I don't know. But apparently, it is a big deal. And it is an agonizing pain. Because I wasn't being a baby. It is something really bad. And I know it was really bad because he had the nurse come and give me to Norco and a shot in the US so that I would like all my muscles relax, and I would just not feel pain. And then they sent me home with a bunch of really strong muscle relaxers and ibuprofen. And it definitely helped. And I got loopy and I had the best sleep of my life.
Rebel:Meanwhile, I'm at disco Oasis, like running around, like freaking out all of my co workers and they're like, are you okay? Rob? Like, do you need to go home? I'm like, No, I'm fine. I will be here, but I am scared out of my mind. And then one of the girls is a pre med student. And so she was like, tell me about her symptoms. And so she was like, explaining all the things that it could be. And I was like, this actually makes me feel a lot better.
Shove:So yeah, Flash forward to like, the next day or two days later, like, I couldn't go to school because I was out of it. And I was like, I'm in so much pain. Like, let me take a painkiller. And then I literally like fall asleep, like well, I said, I can't go to school. So we should record skate date tonight. And I was like, yeah Cool, and then later I'm in pain. I take the medication, it starts kicking in. I literally cannot keep my eyes open. I fall asleep on her lap, knock out for like, I don't know, 30 minutes and then she wakes me up and she's like, babe, we got to go to escape date and I'm like, Are you serious? So yeah, you said you wanted to do it. Let's go. And I'm like, okay, like literally drummed out of my mind. And I'm like, Alright, this
Rebel:is what we're doing. When you tell the story back. I sound like a terrible person.
Shove:It was just like, I had like, I was thinking like that. So unless you're just like, it'll be fine. Well,
Rebel:I thought you would snap out of it to me. I didn't know that you were like drug drug. I thought you're just tired. I
Shove:think she's like, Oh, you know, you just had like, it'll, you'll wake up. I kind of woke up halfway through it. But I was still very confused. I mean, literally, I just remember like, not being able to look at the camera. Like I had my head just I was just looking down and like Rebel would be like,
Rebel:it was a one woman show.
Shove:You wanted to talk about blah, blah, up until that I was like, quiet. Yeah. And then yeah, that just happened. And then I stopped talking to the girl like, okay, so. And that just kept happening the whole time. We even got an argument because like, I didn't understand what she was saying. And like, could understand me
Rebel:really bad. And I was listening back to the argument. And I was like, This makes no sense. And we are on the same side. What is happening?
Shove:Yeah, and Rebel sat there took the time and, like, edited the whole thing, and was like, it's so bad. And I was like, I can't believe you even edited like, no, like, I ever want to see it. Like, let's not post because it's horrible. I just
Rebel:felt bad because we hadn't posted in a while.
Shove:But the one before that. I'm like, Oh, I'm all like depressed. And
Rebel:I was like, depressed. So espress Yeah.
Shove:And then before that, it's like yearly, I broke my tea. Yeah. It's such a tragedy of error over like the sad ship. And we're definitely 100% cursed. And like, by the power of the gods and goddesses, we're still thriving as much as we can with like, but we are charming. I guess we are. I mean, it could be way way. Yeah, that's true. But um, yeah, so that happened. So I'm trying to look decent tonight. Even though I have like no real face makeup on. I tried to do a little jushi in real quick. So you want to think that I was literally like on the brink of death? So I'm here. I have more energy. Yeah, she approached me or is she just getting healthy? We don't know yet. But yeah,
Rebel:I feel like, yeah, I feel like you're getting healthy.
Shove:Yeah. So um, bam. Yeah. It's been a year since we started.
Rebel:It has not been a year. That's so wild. I can't believe it's been a year like what How is it? How is that? Whoa, yeah, we've
Shove:come so far.
Rebel:It's less about having done the like skate date for a year and more about
Shove:all my guys been a year since last September. Oh, my God. huddled around a little Yeti microphone.
Rebel:Hilarious. I can't believe that. I thought that was a good idea. But it was the only microphone we had. So it was the best idea I could
Shove:come up with. Yeah, at least to get dressed up. Like it was a hot day every night. Even if it was 9pm. We're like, let's put on a full beat a cute outfit, do our hair. Just to spend some time with y'all. We really did. Take our makeup off her wig off and go to bed.
Rebel:We were so extra. I mean is really cute. Like when I look back on those episodes. I'm like, man, we look at that I look at every episode for the last like six months. I'm like man Rebel. Are you literally wearing a beanie and no makeup and your glasses and every single episode? Because I think you might be
Shove:and everyone's like how many beanies does Rebel own a lot. I own a lot of beanies. But yeah, so we've got I don't know, I was just like thinking about how it's just like a relationship like we're dating and all of y'all and a lot of y'all have been there from the beginning where a year in and you know what it's like when you fall in love with someone. In the beginning, try real hard you shave everything you make sure you have the outfit. Mani pedi and then like overtime, you're like chopsticks enough, but messy buttons now I can just wear sweatpants to go out. We don't need to go to a restaurant, we can just go get Mickey D's. Like that's where we are in our relationship. We don't have to try anymore. But there's
Rebel:something really beautiful about that. It means that we're comfortable with each other.
Shove:We are we sit here for an hour to hour and a half and we talk into this black void of a camera knowing you were on the other side. And talking into this microphone and to your ears, hoping that we can bring you some sort of joy, some comfort into relating our pain and sorrows and joining us on our parades as well. Whether you're skating or driving in traffic, Ray, yes, because when we run into people now, it's not always just like, Oh, I'm instagram youtube, like skinny and like, it's like, oh, my gosh, I love your podcast. And we really enjoy that to know that our fan base might be around. I don't know. 300 people, but we're good. We're killing it. We love it.
Rebel:We love that y'all are here. We love that you listen, no more. Watch us. Yes, I just like to talk, I'd like to speak a little bit to our glow up for a second and tell you a little bit of a story. So like Shove, mentioned that we used to be around a Yeti. And then I was like, okay, like, we can not do this anymore. Like we have to upgrade ourselves. Like, as much as I love like leaning over
Shove:working at the end of membro. Right. And we switch to the camera and the microphone on the camera.
Rebel:Yeah. And then we were like, Oh, this audio still kind of sucks. And I feel like that's like the number one thing you have to get sorted out when you're a podcast, like you have to figure out the audio. So I was like, You know what, babe? Like, I feel like this is gonna be a long term thing. Go us I was right. Yeah. But like, we should invest in this. And she was like, You're crazy. But sure. Put it on your credit card. And I was like, Okay, so then I like research a bunch. And I found these mics and everything.
Shove:No whole little kit. It was and I was like, cool. At first. I'm like, What a waste of money. But then I found myself every week, like, when's it coming? When's it coming.
Rebel:So this, this package was delayed like three months, because just like everyone else during the pandemic, who started a podcast, and also needed mics and stuff like that, like, we were also ordering it. So we're probably like eight millions in line. But the night that it came it like showed up and then we decided to set it all up in our living room when we were so excited. And like no lie. I was like sitting on the ground by the front door. And then she was like across the
Shove:living room on the couch floor on the couch. The other end like with the whole like, thing that you put like the whole mountain that goes on like holding a microphone, holding a stick that has the microphone plugged into the soundboard and we have our headphones on.
Rebel:So that we're just like talking to each other into the microphones into our headphones,
Shove:your hours play with the volume and then singing to each other. Literally until like two or three in the morning. Just
Rebel:like it was it was an adventure. We're
Shove:like little kids on Christmas morning. We're like new toy play with it.
Rebel:It was so fun. Yeah, we literally opened up and we're just like, this is what we're gonna do today. And I just remember like it was literally one of the best memories I have of the quarantine just like sitting there talking to you in a microphone into the headphones. So anyways, so
Shove:this episode is gonna be a really serious one, we are going to be talking about our experiences with being stocked. So it was kind of that trigger warning about stalking about sexual abuse and the abuse of animals harassment, harassment, all those things can be triggering and I know you're probably sitting there right now going WTF did they literally just say that? is this? What is it? Oh my gosh, this murder. Murder makeup Monday
Rebel:at murder mystery Monday. Is this.
Shove:My favorite murder? No escape j is sometimes shake kids roll as some of y'all know. Yeah. So we're going to talk about that because we both have experiences. And then we're gonna turn around in the real world and talk about gear policing.
Rebel:So it's gonna be a little bit of a roller coaster of an episode but y'all are used to that you've been around for a minute. So enjoy. But before we do that, we have a little ad for a cute little shop that I love and it's very close to my
Shove:heart. Let's jump on in.
Unknown:Okay,
Shove:that's in the towel. That's my little business that I have neglected just like this podcast. Yeah, we are coming back strong with the Halloween rollout. That's right. It's September but we're already all about Halloween here in the shovel house where we're shovel household as I have my four creatures coming back. I have the skater of the waklert Guna came in with the devil
Rebel:skating with the devil.
Shove:We have Oh my gosh. We have black girl magic black magic. And last but not least the living dead goal.
Rebel:The Living Dead goal is literally such a brilliant name. Like it's it's so brilliant.
Shove:All of these funds were available last year but I only kept him for the spooky season so they are back atcha again, a lot of people have requested them but this time you can get them on coffee cups. Yes I ordered all four because I want them for my personal use as how cute I think they are if I do say so. You can also get a hoodie this year that is new to the shop.
Rebel:We love a hoodie
Shove:prints that come by five by seven and eight by 10. And also on stickers. You can get all four stickers for the sell price of $15. They are normally five each. They are three by three inches. They come on quality vinyl, they are waterproof and UV protected.
Rebel:Wow, what a deal, right?
Shove:This means you can smack it on your helmet on your car. And on your water bottle and you can be rough as you want with them they be they're gonna last so shot up in a towel for not just your spooky stuff. Also, September is time for all your pumpkin day six to come out. No, that's not it. And so I also am basically pumpkin. So my might not have a woman's Instagram, but I mentioned but I do have that PSL that I love. So I also have my pumpkin print up. It is a lovely skater that's launching into the air and her roller skates from a pumpkin spilling her PSL. So go check it out at that Sam patel.com.
Rebel:Okay, so literally, I cannot wait. It is my favorite section of art that you have created. And I just want everyone to have access to it. Thanks. Yeah.
Shove:All right, you ready to roll on over
Rebel:to the real world? Yes. But first, I would like everyone to know that gingerly Valentine put out an Instagram reel where she told everyone how to make her pumpkin spice syrup that she made. And I just feel like if you're feeling the need to be pumpkin be sick like chef, then that's a great place to get some homemade pumpkin syrup
Shove:recipe. Yeah. Because you know, when people say your basic B like capital B, A E. Bay.
Rebel:And they'll be like, I'm Bay sick.
Shove:All right. The real world can be a very scary place.
Rebel:Yep. And that's why we're talking about the scary things today. Because we feel like it is our duty to be real about the things that have happened to us in case it's something that you might relate to or needed for
Shove:your old videos. We've experienced life and gone through some crazy stuff. So we can like you know, pass that on to you about the things that have happened. So that way you can have the signs so you can see the signs a little earlier.
Rebel:Yeah, definitely. So me and Shove both have experiences here. Mine is on the lighter side and ships is on the heavier side. So true. Yes. And so just we're just gonna talk about it. Are you ready?
Shove:Yes, I think this is cheaper than therapy. So let's go.
Rebel:Alright, so um, when I was younger, like Middle School, early high school, I had a person who was in my mom's church, my mom is a pastor. And he was a deaf man who showed a lot of interest in me and my sister and the other females in our church. And no one really thought anything of it that I knew of, but I was also an innocent slash ignorant child. So um, yeah, so he would always talk to me and he talked to me a lot about ballet old were you I was probably like 12 or 13. So actually, I think I might be like 1314. Now you might be a little bit older. So he would always talk to me about ballet and I for those of you You who don't know this about me, I did ballet for 10 years. ballet and like dance was a big part of my life. And so I was always interested to talk to him about it. And he was like taking ballet classes and stuff like that, to this day, I don't know if he was actually taking ballet classes because he was interested in them or because he was interested in me. But I will choose not to think about that and compartmentalize it and talk to my therapist about it later. So basically, long story short, what happened was, he had talked to me for quite a while, which now I know to be called grooming. And he invited me to go see Swan Lake and like, have front row tickets, this one like, and I was like, Oh my gosh, I was so excited. I never actually seen about lay before. And so I was like, Oh, my God, I totally want to go. So I told my parents about it. And they were like, Yeah, sure. Like, you can go It seems kind of weird. But yeah, sure, you can go. And yeah, so I went with him. And it was like, okay, it was like a little weird, but it wasn't like anything crazy. And then the next week at school, I got pulled out of my class, and there was a social worker, and like the school counselor, that was like waiting for me. And they were like asking me questions about him and asking me like, you know why I went out with him and like, all this sort of stuff. And I was like, this is really weird.
Shove:So weird for me, like, why did you go out with?
Rebel:Yeah, I think that they were trying to figure out if my dad was neglecting me. I think that's really where it was pointed out, because it was never questioned about my mom was questioned about my dad. Interesting. And I remember just being like, confuse and also scared that they were trying to say something bad about my dad. And I was like, there's I don't understand what you're talking about. And so my parents or my dad actually came and picked me up from school. They like sent me home. And I was like, This is so weird, like, what's going on? And when he was in the car, he was like, hey, so this person is like a listed sex offender. And like, has done a lot of things has been like incriminated, but is not really ever, like, been punished for it. And we just found out about all this stuff. And like, he was like, apologizing for letting me go and like all this sort of stuff, and then ask me questions. And then I got home, and my mom was bawling, because she had like, found the sex registry and like, found his picture. And like, cuz she didn't believe it, of course, until like, you know, she saw it for herself. And then, just like, it was just kind of like a crazy moment, because I remember feeling like, wow, nothing's really happened to me. But then, like, I feel this weirdness that like something could have I don't know, it was weird. But then did you have something you want to know? Okay. Um, yeah, so it was like, weird. And then he just started showing up after that. So we got a restraining order against him. And after that, he just started showing up at random places that I would be at, like, he would show up, like, at my, like, Sunday school class, or, like, at my Starbucks that I worked, or, like,
Shove:just many years later was this. This was like,
Rebel:just consistent, kind of like, and as it was going on to be like, for the, for the few months afterwards, it was like really intense. And then it would be like a year later, like, he would just kind of show up, and then it would be like, a couple years later, and it always really jarred me, because he had like, clearly tried to go after my sister too. And like, one time I like walked in with his my sister like, on his lap, and he was just like, what, and the main reason why like when, like, when we went to court and like a bunch of stuff happened. The reason why he had gotten away with the things beforehand and also just like, the like grooming and wasn't like kicked out of the area or whatever was because he said like, Oh, I'm deaf. I don't know any better. Which is simple shit. Yeah. So then, yeah, so when I was so yeah, so then he kept showing up. He showed up again when I was like 16. And then he showed up again, he showed up at my work at Red Robin when I was 19 years old. So like years later, and he had like, he like requested to ban my station which was a really cringe and weird and like, and he brought some girl that was like a younger girl with him like he was Going to the same place that he took me. But then he like, took this younger girl or whatever. And like, it was just really like triggering. And it freaked me out. And like all these things and like he went, he got up to go the bathroom at one point and I like, warn the girl, I was like, Hey, you have to get out of here. Like he is not good news. Like he is dangerous, like do not stay around him. And she was just like, really confused. And like really, like, I think weirded out. And yeah, and that was the last time I saw him. So that was fun. And then yeah, so that I feel like I'm talking about it very flippantly now, but it was not flipping and the moment
Shove:how did it fit? Like, how did you feel about it? Like, is it something that like, was it a constant fear that he was going to pop up? Or was it always like, out of sight out of mind? And then like jarring when you saw him? Or like, how long would it linger that like, oh, he might show up here to like help? How did it feel for you?
Rebel:It was a constant fear that he was going to show up because he would like he wasn't supposed to go to like my mom's church, but he kept like randomly showing up or like standing outside the door or like, just being in random places, like on the church campus, but like not where the deaf church was, like, no
Shove:one would call the cops when he was there. Yeah,
Rebel:I don't. I mean, maybe I don't, to my knowledge. He wasn't there. Like, like, I remember my mom yelling at him one time, but I don't have like extensive memory. I'm assuming that I am traumatized. I
Shove:don't remember.
Rebel:But I have like a memory of my mom shouting at him. And like signing really intensely. And I have memories of like, hiding, but I don't have like, extensive memories about it. But I remember being scared that anywhere I went that he would show up because it just didn't make sense. He showed up at my school. He showed up. I forgot about that. But he showed up at my school. He like just showed up in all these random places. And I was like, What the hell are you doing here? Like, I just felt like he was everywhere that I was. And I was just so scared.
Shove:It's terrifying.
Rebel:Yeah, it was scary. And yeah. And I just felt like when someone is like, oh, above the law, like when you're acting like I'm deaf and dumb, like I can't understand the law, because I'm deaf. And like a judge had bought that argument previously, it felt like there was nothing that could be done to protect me, basically, is how it felt.
Shove:I'm sorry, that happened to you. Yeah, it's okay. My story starts at the age of 15. I believe. 1415 How old are you and your bank favorite? Anyways, I want to say like, maybe we'll go with 14. Yeah. So I was 14 years old. I started high school, a little ninth grader. And all my friends started getting in relationships. And like, my best friend became best friends with like, a person a year ahead of us. And then like, so we're hanging out with like, older people in high school, and I remember just thinking like, I am a loser. I want a boyfriend because everyone else has a boyfriend. Because that's how the mind is. So when we were all young, maybe you're thinking about this, that's the biggest problem is like, Oh, no, like, I've never had a boyfriend. This is happen. So I told my friend and she was like, Well, you know, there's, like, he's single, and he has a crush on you. Like, maybe we feel like just put the two of you up. I didn't even know what it is. I just like, knew we hung out together because we were all Rockers, and we hung out in the same area. So I'm just like, okay. So eventually he comes up to me, and he's like, Oh, you want to be my girlfriend? And I'm like, yeah, cuz like you know, it was a simpler time. You don't have to like court each other. I just said court each other. What year is it? Like, you would just be like, oh, we're in school together. We see each other all the time. Like, yeah, sure. But now we're in a relationship where adults, right? So anyways, I remember thinking like, oh, like he's a cool rocker guy. He's a punk guy. I'm a punk. This is fine. Also, I was just still getting out of being like one of the biggest Marion's from eighth grade. So it was my first time out of a uniform in a while and like trying to find my style. So I definitely was like, loser status when I was in ninth grade because I was like, I have no idea what like I know I have a good taste in music, but I did not know how to dress. So anyways, I remember the next day I see my new boyfriend and I He's wearing the same shirt and two shirt he was wearing the day before. And I'm like, oh, okay, that's okay, whatever. I'm not holding hands, nothing big. And the next day I see him again at school. He's wearing the same damn shirt, but has holes in it. And I'm like, Oh, no, my boyfriend's disgusting. Um, yeah, everything was normal. You know, like, it was never like, nothing seems scary or unusual, but also had nothing to like, go off of really. We dated for like, a month or two. It was just like heavy make out sessions and like holding hands. And we would go to ditching parties together and like, hanging out with all like the seniors and stuff because he was a senior. And I thought like, wow, I'm super cool freshmen with my, like, my senior boyfriend hangs out with like, all the cool kids that are in a punk band. And like, you know, I was just like, oh my god, I feel so cool. I was like, I think I liked the idea of him more than like, actually liking him. So eventually, I was just like, this isn't gonna work. Like, I'm not even into this guy. Like, it's been like three months in high school. That's a really long time. Yeah. So I ended up breaking up with him. And he didn't take it that well. And I don't know, like you'd call the house which we didn't have a house phone. We had like a cell phone. That was my parents, but like, would use it like the house phone. And he would like try to call here and there but like, whatever. Didn't see him for a while. and was like, yeah, cuz he was like, ditching school a lot. And I just thought, okay, whatever we did, sometimes I didn't know it was because apparently, he was heartbroken about it. His sister who I never even met, apparently, when school is us, and I'm like walking, sketchily as I'm ditching to, like, go off the back gate, because I don't know how I was like one of the top people in my class when I graduated. But I also did a lot. I just knew when to show up. Anyways, that's a story for another time. So I'm like walking in, and I just see this, like, girl walking towards me. And she's like, Oh, my God. Hi, sister. Um, I just wanna tell you like, he loves you so much. And I don't know why you broke up, but he really, really wants to get back together. I think you should really give about another chance. Like, he's just not the same and like, all this stuff, and like, maybe that should have been my sign. Like, the fact that like, he like how, like, maybe I should have asked like, how devastated was he? Like, because like, I don't know, like that kind of W that was like, the first time like, someone shouldn't have been that devastated. But he got broken up with a point where he stops coming to school and like, his family member is worried about him. After three months. Yeah. So like, I get it. We feel him stronger when we're in high school, but still, like he was 18. Like, get it together. But okay, whatever. So I feel bad, because I'm a nice person. And also, like at this point, like 15. So I'm like, Okay, I'll get back with you. Every so we get back together. And I think it only lasted like a month. And I was like over it. Like I was even like, let's be honest, I was cheating on him with other guys. Because I was like, I'm a I'm a high school. I want to have a good time. You know, you never found out Luckily, and now I think really Luckily, because maybe he would have murdered me for that. But you'll find out why. Because this person got really scary. So then I realized like, this is like you're being a shit person. This is not right. Like you shouldn't be with someone because you pity them and like stringing them along. So I ended the relationship again. And I remember I was like that weekend or soon after. My friends were like, let's go to a show. And it was like mine and my exes, mutual friends that were playing the show. And we I remember standing there like waiting for the band to set up and I'm like talking to my friend Terry. And she was like, Don't worry, like, and I was just like, he's freaking me out. Like you've series staring at me. Like I don't know what to do. He's obviously drunk. Like he was holding like a big bottle like that big big bottle of jack daniels. And I as well uncomfortable. So just like it's fine. She put her hand around me and put like her hand on my butt. And it was just like, like, it's finally like, Here with me like, like, whatever, which is we ended up dating but that was like later on. So that pissed him off. And the tree we're standing by like, all of a sudden I heard like a big boom. And like he threw the giant bottle of jack daniels to try to throw it at either me or her. But it hit the tree and it smacked it super hard to where like it like knocked off some of the bark. And I was just like, what the fuck like, okay, like, and his friends like Got him. They're like, you need to calm down, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff. But I was just like, Okay, that was scary and they took them out but I was still like ever I was just like, don't worry about it like have a good time. Have a good time. I bloodstream Like, whatever, you know, drinking whatever, get it out in the pit. And I'll just say, okay, whatever keep going, he doesn't really show up to school. To be honest, I don't think he even graduated, I think it up like dropping it out. I just didn't really see him at school again, and went on with my life would see him at shows here and there. And he would all every time in a show, like approach me or stare at me. And it was just like really uncomfortable. Over time, little weird things would happen. Like I would see him sitting in his car like not because he didn't have a car, we were together. But like, I would see a car in front of my house across the street. It was him. And I'd be sitting in my living room. And I want to say anything because I wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend. My dad was very clear about that. So in my mind, even though I was getting a little scared, I felt like I'm gonna get in trouble and punish because I came from a very abusive home, I was afraid to tell someone, so I would just be like, this is fine. And I talked to my friends about it. And they'd be like, Oh, fuck him. Like, he's crazy, whatever. But no one really, like took it seriously. So for me, it was just like, Oh, I guess is gonna be fine. And again, like, I have no idea how relationships work. I don't know if this is really normal. It just felt off. So he's sitting there, I'm like, Oh, my God, like leave like you're gonna get me in trouble just go away. I think it was more afraid of getting in trouble than afraid that he was just staring at me from like, looking to my house, like just loitering there for hours. And then another time. My dad wakes up early, and I'm getting ready for school. And he's like, Hey, you tell your little friend Stop fucking with our cars, like stop playing games. And I'm like, What? He's Well yeah, like they like wrote stuff on our cars. And I go out and like how the windows crossover on my dad's car and my mom's car. Someone wrote like, I heart and then like my name. And then like our, like my initials with a heart around it. And it's just like, I love you, I love you and love you like all over the passenger windows, the back window, the windshield. And I remember my heart just feeling like it sunk. And being like, how early like, do you stare out my house all night? Like you came over here? And did that, like for a message for me? And it was like, I knew, like, none of my friends would have done that. And like no one like no one would have took the time to wake up and like get your house like six in the morning and do that. Like it was just so creepy. And again, like I just laughed it off by my parents. And I was just like, Oh, yeah, and like loved. And I was another time I'm walking home from school. And he starts like driving along side me after like my last friends when I like split up, which like sucks because he knew my whole route that I would take home and like knew like when like what friends would leave and like, by time I'd be alone. And he just kept telling me to get in the car get in the car and I was an idiot and I just felt awkward like get in the car when he got in the car. Yeah, and my thing God like nothing happened to me. Like I think he like just touch my thigh and he was just like, pleading for me to take him back. And I was just like, no, like, I want to go I want to go like I'm not comfortable. Like you need to leave like I'm over it like please just stop. Like I pleaded with him. And he was just like, he let me out. But I just remember thinking like, I hope that's the end like I don't know, like maybe he needed closure because ignoring him the whole time. And it was just like cries for attention. But then later down the line it got scarier. So the the worst thing that happened was one day like mind you probably looked bad to the neighborhood because at this point I was super golf like definitely looks like the statements which have Compton. But anyways, I like walk out of my house and I go down the sidewalk and you know, it's like your grass and your front yard, the sidewalk, and then the patch of grass. And then there's the gutter in the street. Well in the patch of grass. There were four kittens, and they were spread out perfectly. Like three I think was three kittens, though they were spread out perfectly, like perfectly in the center and Sam on the space. And I don't know how but they're in trials, like their guts were like, pulled out through their mouth. Sorry. I know like, you're probably freaking out. It's very horrific. But everything was lined up perfectly. So at first I like what wild animal did this. But then like, I knew like no animal could like do that. Like this is something a person did. And like of course it's like Who else would it be like everything was added up. And that's when I was like Holy shit. Like, I think something like really, really bad didn't happen to me. And still did not tell anyone like my mom or dad like, they were both like strung out on drugs and alcohol anyways, I didn't feel like I could talk to them. And then that when I didn't tell my friends because I thought they'd think I was crazy and being paranoid. So I just kind of dealt with it. Over time. He would like just disappear for a long time. And then eventually, I had a word that he I don't know, for some reason if you ran from the wall or something, but went to Mexico for a long time, years past. Now we're like, I'm out of high school. And like, he would just randomly find my information, like through a mutual friend or something. And so like, I started getting phone calls from weird numbers, and it'd be voicemails of him like, playing songs that like he dedicated to me, or like just saying, like, I miss you, I love you. And I'm playing a song now. And it was just like, really creepy. Because I was like, by that time I lived in Long Beach. So like, I knew, like he wanted to know where I lived. But it was still scary that he had my phone number. And then he would like friend request me on Facebook. And I'd have to keep logging in. Because you keep messaging me and being like, I miss you. And then like, I don't know, it was just like, I never knew like anytime I saw a phone call. I was like I didn't want to answer if I didn't recognize it. And almost all every week, it'd be like, here's another email from Amina voicemail from him. And then it would stop again randomly, and I'd be like, Okay, what the heck. And then I did run into him, eventually. And I was like really drunk and in a bad place back when I was like, also addicted to drugs. And he ended up being at the place, we all hung out. And he did try to take advantage of me there. But luckily, like my friend, like woke up and like stopped it from happening. But I remember just being like, super terrified, because again, like me, and this person never even had sex. And it was just like this crazy obsession. And yeah, and then like, I didn't see him until I was an adult. And it was super random actually saw on Halloween first when I was with my best friend Ashley ratul. portly, and we're like, get Let's eat before we go out. It's Halloween. Have a good time. And I remember just seeing someone walking a distance and thinking like, holy shit, Is that him? And sure enough, it was and then he leaned against the wall again, it was like a circle center. And he like said my name. I was like, oh, that actually looks all like what's happening. Why do you look like you've seen a ghost? And he's like, how are you? I was like, I'm good. I'm good. And he's like, Oh, yeah, where are you live at now? And I think I like lied and said like, Lakewood or something. And then like Ashley was, like, sketched out, like, Why are you lying and acting like this? And he just kept asking random questions. And finally, like, just left, but I was like, oh, shoot, oh, shoot. Oh, shit. Like, I didn't. I didn't want to watch like, my car's like, you know what kind of car he drove. I didn't want like, it was just like, does he have a car? Is he gonna follow us so then I had to tell her really quick. And then we like took off from there because I was just like, we need to leave like I can't I can't be here anymore. And then after that, it was like another six months or so. Same area at the circle center where the coffee bean was I was picking up or dropping off product from my store to that lab. And as I'm like walking out the store to my car. I see him with like a bucket and a squeegee cuz like people would like do that. So obviously he did drop out of high school and hit a low low. But anyway, as I'm walking in, he says My name I turn on like oh shit. So I'm like hurrying and as I'm like closing my door to lock it because this is insane person. He says, I heard hearing gauge how is it? And then I was like, the door closed and I hurry up and started and I'm like, Holy fuck, because at the time I was engaged with someone, all I could think was like, How did he know? Like he's still watching me online through some kind of account. And I know that he's still keeping tabs on me was like terrifying. Like we're talking about from the age of 14 he first entered my life till about what 30 like almost 30 to 29 like that's a really long time for someone to like still be like I'm watching you. And um, yeah, so like, there was someone a skater that like, did some stuff that felt kind of like stalker mentality. And I remember I got really scared and sketched out because I kept it reminded me of that situation. And like, knowing like is this unhealthy behavior, but then that also triggered me and made me think of this person and made me think like, is he still watching me and I do need to be careful like what I post on like, lives on Instagram, like where I am like I have a huge following now like, chances are a lot of people from my past have now seen me and found me again. And there were a lot of bad people in my past, because I do have a dark past where it wasn't a bad place. And there are so many people, Matt, there were so many people that I had to, like, blacklist and disappear from. And so sometimes I wonder like, do those people like see me now like all these like horrible people from my past? And yeah, so it's definitely something that like a fear that lives with you. And I feel like it could have been so much worse. And it ends way worse for a lot of people out there. So and there's nothing like, I feel like you can feel guilty when it's happening to you, like you did something to deserve it, but you did not. Some people are just mentally unwell. And that does not excuse the behavior. But please don't be like me, and do not be afraid to ask for help. Like if you need to, like talk to someone, like some sort of adult, especially if you're under age, but like, let someone know, call a cop late. I like so much scary things like slide that like are terrifying and happen to me at a young age that like I shouldn't have handled that by myself. So that's one thing I would love to offer as advice is just please reach out to someone and don't try to sit there and deal with all that by yourself.
Rebel:Yeah, and I think that there's something really important to talk about. And it's the validation of our feelings. I think that sometimes it's hard to, it's hard to figure out whether or not like, what we're feeling is legitimate. And I know that I will Gaslight myself all the way, you know, until next Tuesday. And I think it's really important to listen to that like little feeling you feel within your chest, your stomach or your brain or wherever you feel you're like, Oh, this is an unsafe or weird or uncomfortable situation for me. And so yeah, I think it's really, really important to listen yourself. And before things start happening, like Don't be scared to reach out and get help before things happen. Don't feel like you need an experience to validate that feeling of creepiness that yeah,
Shove:it's like listening to your gut. Because like I knew, like this, like something told me like, this isn't right. Like, even if I didn't know how bad it was, I felt like this isn't normal. Like this is something bad.
Rebel:Yeah.
Shove:Yeah. But I don't know. Like, I feel like sometimes, like I know, we think like that's just in the movies. But no,
Rebel:yeah, very real,
Shove:it can happen. And I hope it doesn't happen to anyone that's listening.
Rebel:And a lot of times, it starts with not like a super creepy random thing. You know, like, it starts with a relationship or it starts with like, someone you meet in a casual setting. And just because you like someone at first, or you're interested in someone at first, or you zation it could be a friend, it could be anything like that. And things can go south and people can snap, and you need to protect yourself first and foremost, if you find yourself in the situation.
Shove:And that's also like a dark side of having a large following like we do. When something happened with someone in the skate community. I remember Astro just telling me like, don't go live anywhere anymore, when you're still gonna be at that place for like a really long time. Like post later, like, Don't geotag things like just like get your clips and post them later go live when it's like, you know, you're in a place surrounded by people that safe or like, go live at the end when you're already about to leave. And it's like things I'm like, what you'll think about this and she's and they were like, you know, like you can have super fans and I was like I have a normal person like why would I was super fan like I'm not freaking Selena, things aren't gonna go like, how horrible that way like it's just I'm a normal person. But then I remember when I was a normal person. I had a scary scary stuff here. Yeah, so like a super fan isn't like a super fan super fan. It's just a stalker or someone that's obsessed over you. And I don't think you have to be someone that has a huge following to have that. It's just like the percentage of it happening like the chances increase because it's just statistics. And like, I do put so much of my life online that like, I gotta remember that. And what's funny is I'm just now realizing that like, I haven't really been active on social media for a while, and it happened, like around the same time that this person like popped up again.
Rebel:Yeah, I definitely think that it is incredibly triggering to have someone, you know, show up in different locations that you're at or go after you in like, kind of wild ways with falsified information. I also think that, you know, it's, it's also something that even if you don't have a big following, like the just the pure fact that all of us put so much of our lives online now, just because it's normalized, doesn't make it any less easy for someone to find out like a crap ton of information about your life without having to do that much work. Like I know, a significant amount about so many people's lives that like, I don't even talk to every day. And that's actually really scary.
Shove:And I'm not know where they were, where they skate.
Rebel:And I'm trying to get that information. Like it's just happening, like they pop up in my algorithm. And so I just happen to know a lot about them. I know what their family looks like, like, I know you and that's just like, normal now. And so I think more than anything, it's important for us to prioritize our own safety and like protecting ourselves and like increasing that awareness.
Shove:Listen to your gut. Yeah. Alright, so sorry that we came to that with that. And that was a really, really long, y'all came back with some heavy ish, but um, life is heavy sometimes. So yeah, I hope. I hope Yeah, I don't know. Anyways, I think it's time to the world world. How about you, man?
Rebel:I think so too. Okay, so the real world is over. Now, we're entered into the real world where we focus on roller skating. Today, we're talking about gear policing, which I don't know anything about doing.
Shove:Gear policing is when you see someone, someone without safety gear when they're skating, and you might tell them in person, or you might come on their video and be like, Where's your helmet? Where's your knee pads? Why aren't you wearing gear? you hurt yourself? Because you weren't getting gear? Why weren't you just weighing your pads? You would have been say if
Rebel:you're a role model, you have to wear gear.
Shove:Yeah. Like you're in spite, like people look up to you. And by the fact that you're not wearing gear, you're a bad role model to other skaters that are starting out.
Rebel:Yeah, you're causing other skaters harm, because they want to be like you and not wear gear.
Unknown:Yeah. So don't do that. Yeah, just don't just don't know.
Rebel:We believe in body autonomy in this household. Which means that you are allowed to do with your body, whatever you choose to do with your body. Yes, but it didn't always exist. Like
Shove:oh my gosh, yeah. So it's like, if I'm doing like roll like roller derby, I have to wear pads anyways. But I would definitely wear all that even if I didn't have to part skating. I'll wear like most of my gear, not all of it. And it really depends on what I'm doing. But I feel like it's you have to listen to yourself. Like if I'm just pumping back and forth, like yeah, I could fall and hurt a knee revels, then it just like trying to get on top of the ramp, not even doing any tricks and fallen and hurt her knee. And like that just happens. Like I just feel like I was like skating as punk rock to a core. And that means that like it can be grimy, you get hurt, you fall, you dust yourself up, you get back again. I'm not too like I know. It's like a weird way to think but in my mind, that's what it is like, you get thrown around and you pick yourself up and you keep going. It's not like, like, I'm not worried about like, being too safe. And I know that sounds weird to people like
Rebel:yeah, I know what you're trying to say. And I think it's important to like, enter into this conversation with we're not trying to tell you to wear pads and we're not trying to tell you not to wear pads we're trying to tell you to do whatever you feel is right for you. And to not feel like pressured by anyone else.
Shove:And either way, like you shouldn't be pressured to wear gear that you don't want to wear because other people are telling you to but you also shouldn't feel pressured to not wear gear because people are like that's not cool or that's not comfortable or like shut up said that's not punk rock. So now I'm not gonna wear my safety gear even though I don't feel confident in my skates and now I'm hurt. I feel like it should be like whatever makes you feel protected stronger, feels good while you're on skates confident that's what you should do because there's times like I don't feel confident on the If I don't have my wrist guards or helmet, I'll take it easy. When I have my gear on, I'll go harder. But sometimes I feel like that works against me because like, I just feel like, Oh, I'm relying on my safety here. Now,
Rebel:when I disagree with that for myself, because I think it Okay, I'm relying on my safety gear. When I'm on a ramp. I'm always going to be wearing my safety gear when I'm on a ramp. So if I rely on my safety here, it's fine.
Shove:Yeah, no, I
Rebel:know. What do you mean? Like? Yeah, I feel like it's individual for each person.
Shove:Yeah, for sure. No, I don't mean like speaking for everyone. I'm just talking about like, for myself as well. Like I'm saying like, when I'm skating, like, I feel sorry, if it came off as like I'm telling like, you should feel that way. But I'm talking about like how I feel like, I like how Dena has spoken out about how she wanted coach Derby and she was competitive in Derby, because they train you to fall on your knees in roller derby. And I always thought that was stupid, like I didn't understand it, that they make you fall over and over and over again, especially when you're freshmen, like you're falling on one knee than the other knees, you're slamming on both knees and rocks are sliding. And it's like, overtime. Even with knee pads. That's really bad. You're still damaging your knees. Instead of just being like, let's only learn baseball slides where you're sliding on your side or like, you know, choose a cheek.
Rebel:You want to know why they do that though they do that because it's not realistic to baseball slide when you're in the middle of a pack and you're getting knocked down and stuff. So like I get why they're doing it. But I agree with you. I don't think that they should do. Like, like, I get why they're doing they
Shove:never say hey, if you can avoid it, don't fall your knees. Yeah,
Rebel:they never say
Shove:play it up or do any top fast and pop back up. So they never like telling you just not getting any. So I feel like it is like I've been told like when I when I started parks getting more skin in the streets. It's more encouraged to actually like choose a cheek and go or choose the side and really to protect all your joints. And I still get freaked out when I see people with like no gear on like jumping rails and stuff. Gary, I'm always like, oh my god and with no gear on and like that's something all like exclaim and talk to people about but I'm not gonna take the time and like comment, like, Oh my god, you're doing that without that or even if it's more like almost like a thing of off. I do. Like, dang, that was sick and with no safety gear on your wild like something like that. But I'm not like judging them. I'm more Yeah, like,
Rebel:I think there's a difference for Yeah,
Shove:but like a lot of people I feel bad because there'll be a handful people are like, oh, they're so stupid to do that and like insulting them and it's like they know their craft. Like I know skaters that are like hardcore, like even as sure like when they do a backflip at like a new place. They haven't man. They're like okay, helmet and they know to put a helmet on because they don't know what it's gonna be like. Kiana who has Kiani Juana has says they've had head injuries before. And I'm seeing like, if I have one more, that could be it. So they make sure they wear out their helmet when they're doing all their errors and stuff. And I think it's just like knowing like what your body can take and what your skill level. And with that said, like, when it's your time, it's your time, like things can happen one wrong flip, your truck can crack, or a plate can tag, there can be a rock like ash could just be like, you flipped yourself a little too much. You never know. It's there's freak accidents anytime. And all I want to say is like even with your gear on, you can get hurt really badly. Sometimes your gear protects you a little bit like, now you have a concussion. But you could have been dead, you know, like, you smashed your teeth out. But you also could have smashed your swollen. Like, there's so many things like I've had things where I had my knee pads on, but I slammed on the side of my knee where the knee pad didn't really protect. So even though I felt like I should have been protected. I wasn't. There's just so many things like when it's your time, it's just your time, and it comes with skating, you know. So I think like, gear is just sort of those things you can have so many talks about right, bam. Yeah, I
Rebel:mean, I definitely think that there is a place and a time where gear should be mandatory and that I really do think that beginners should wear gear. I'm not going to enforce that ever on you. But I strongly, strongly, strongly believe that beginners should were here because you're just falling so many different ways that you don't know how to fall. And like you can seriously injure yourself in a way that like will make it so then you don't want to continue roller skating. I hate that for you. And so, like I definitely encourage gear and especially like people like me like I am so klutzy and like I am so injury prone Like, I probably am good enough to do a lot of things without gear, but I will continue to wear gear while doing them. But then there are some things that I'm like that I'm not gonna wear gear, you know, and it's just me listening to my body. And so it's really important to just like, let people live.
Shove:Yeah, the last time we went to the skate park, we went to Houghton I only wore my knee pads, I love my wrist guards and my helmet like with our stuff. And I like went on all the Rams, I did some jumps, I went on the halfpipe. And I was proud of myself, because I didn't beat the pump. I didn't stop myself. And I think that same timeout is like, when it's something I know, like 100% 100% can handle and like, even if I fell like it's not from high, and I wouldn't really, it wouldn't be too bad of an injury. I usually like freak out and like baby it and like don't even push myself or try. And now I'm like, Oh, I know I can do this. So like I'm okay. I'm like, all like pump a little higher, still do some social, do some tricks. Versus like before, like, Oh, no, I can't do anything because I like I did like the fear like the fear would take over because like the my pads gave me courage. And it should be like the courage from within. And I watched a ghoulies video on like, how to fall like falling like when she does rails and just little helpful things to help you like that. Or physics, like they'll make the small like the site, make the file smaller, or like where you land not being so intense and chance of injury. And I think that's also helpful to have, even if you have gear, most importantly, it's how to fall because your gear can only do so much.
Rebel:Yeah, I mean, and we definitely need to wrap this up very soon. But I, I don't feel that way. Because even when I do like say like I'm very confident, for instance, skating on our Ramp in the backyard, our mini ramp, and just the other day, like the other day, two months ago, but two months ago, I was skating on it just like show my friends who came over just like literally how to do like literally the most basic thing that I've done a million times, and my escape slipped, and then I fell on my knee and because of that my knees still freaking hurts. And I literally can't be on my knees right now. Like because of that stupid fall. And if I had just put knee pads on, I wouldn't be experiencing that. And that the thing I was doing was literally like the pump up leg tap. Like the thing I do all the time every single time I get on the ramp and so it's just kind of like I
Shove:just caught you at a live in your told me when I said why didn't you put your year on if you were doing like, like, go skate around with them, which you're like, that's judgey but I was just like, cuz I know she wears her gear and she does it and she said, I wasn't even doing anything. I was literally just trying to get to the top of the deck to take a picture with them. That's why
Rebel:I also did that. But yeah, I didn't realize it I didn't realize I didn't tell you but I also was trying to pump to get to the top and I also did fall a little bit then.
Unknown:So I think it was a mixture just like you know merge the two. The to, to false. Yeah.
Rebel:But yeah, so anyways, where gear don't work here. better choice. Yeah, you have a body you get to choose what to do.
Shove:I'm like Texas believes it's your body here choice.
Rebel:Yeah, seriously.
Shove:Alright, let's get out of here. It's a long episode. Sorry about that. Find your skate T for your skate date. We don't have one this week. But I just want to let you know that find your skate day is our segment where we help you find love, whether it is through friendship or romantic. Sometimes it's really hard to find a skater in your area or escape group. So you can write in with your pronouns, your location and a little bio about you and your Instagram handle so we can share you on art skate day Instagram. And hopefully someone else that lives next to you or maybe even my cool internet friend will find you and hopefully not stalk you like the people in our earlier segment. Got a lot to keep from crying. Anyways. Yeah, so that's a really cool thing. And we know we have we had some people link up. Ours
Rebel:had great success from find your skate date. So you would like to also be part of the Find your skate date party. Just email us at do your skate date@gmail.com
Shove:Yes, do it now. Thank you.
Rebel:Yeah. Okay, now that we've done deerskin date, here's your shovel.
Shove:Deer shovel.
Rebel:Deer shovel is the part of our podcast where you ask us questions and then we answer them and we answer them either really well or really poorly or a combo of both. And they can be about literally anything like literally anything. So you can send us an email at dear skate data@gmail.com and ask us a dear shovel question. Today's your shovel question is, dear shovel, why don't you have more disco balls in your house?
Shove:That's not a real question.
Rebel:Okay, fine. You caught me. Dear Shove Will you buy me more disco ball?
Shove:No, there's already too many disco balls in here and keep disco balling everything.
Rebel:Yeah. Do you see my water bottle? Yeah,
Shove:if you're listening in and not watching, she has been buying those little disco stickers like that make a disco ball and has put them on planters a giant hydro flask. Where else did you put them on part of her little like razors on her desk? Every day for like, there's a new disco ball. And it's becoming a little too much like,
Rebel:yeah, so anyways, that's an example of something you could ask. Or you could ask me about skating or you know something about literally anything else. Relationship Advice, life advice. We answer it all on dear shuffle.
Shove:So yeah, you have all that jazz. You have our emails so emails keep date podcast as well. If you're like, hey, I want to add show capture, sell her own show of what you
Rebel:just can't sell her own show show
Shove:Kansas. Her own stuff. That's like Sally's house, you know, she'll cancel her own stuff. together now my hat's falling off. It's chaos people weird over an hour and let's get it to her out. So make sure we find your skate date. Do a deer shovel email us if you would like an ad as well because prices are cheap and so are we now we move on to our five star reviews who probably no one's giving us one because we have not been around nobody has
Rebel:given us a visor review. But I understand. I'll be honest,
Shove:I get it and set five star reviews. I got an apple podcast so go ahead and leave us a review if you haven't already. And yeah, it feels good to be back. That's why we kept talking so much. I'm not really in a depressive state. I am not moody. I am doing the best I can so I am here things are turning around. I'm working on my shop. I got my babe right here. She's not dancing that disco places every night. So things are going good about always good. Man. Two girls one pup so forgot to mention that my one year.
Rebel:I mean, I brought him up here for a little bit so it's kind of like we added two girls one pup
Shove:Missy Bowie, whose best segment ever but you know y'all I just want to say thank you again for hanging around for one year. I think we're gonna be back on track now. Yeah, we should be back on track now. So even though you might not be listening to this on a Wednesday, cuz who knows when they'll be edited? We will be back on Wednesdays. Yes,
Rebel:we are getting back into our groove. Thank you to us for finding our lives again.
Shove:Whoa, that was dramatic. All right, y'all.
Rebel:We love you. Bye.